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| Name: |
Schlap
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Age: |
Four and a half years old
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| Gender: |
Male
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Breed: |
Orange and White
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| Home: |
San Mateo, California, USA
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Birthplace:
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. Current Residence: San Mateo, California, USA
In this picture you see Schlap (the one with the hat on) receiving
his hourly rubdown from his attendant, Pete.
Schlap has a following around the world. From Canada to California to
Connecticut to Cameroon, everybody loves Schlap.
Why?
Nobody knows. He smells kinda funny, isn't very useful around the
house, he's kinda chubby, he sheds all over the place, and he is a
flea magnet. Despite the fact that he is the largest cat that most
people have ever seen (at 22 pounds, with paws the size of a
rottwieler's), as a guard cat, he is useless. He actually prefers
strangers to his keepers, fawning over newcomers with the intensity
of an addict getting a fix. He would lead a thief straight to the
most valuable of his keepers meager possessions, thinking "maybe
this guy will give me a treat."
He's very demanding. When you try to watch TV or read a book, he
immediately hops up on the table or your chest and head-butts you
into submission, petting him until he gets hungry for some more food.
His girth prohibits him from being an effective mouser, although he
does manage to sit on his catnip mouse, attempting to suffocate it,
for hours on end. Although he is huge, his meow is akin to a
three-week-old burmese kitten, approximately two octaves above what one
would expect. A ploy for food, I suspect.
He is dumb. Not just a couple cards short of a full deck here, but I
mean downright lamp-post dumb. He'd walk up to a snarling grizzly
bear and try to get some lovin'. Once, when disrupted from a nap, he
jumped through a window (the window was closed at the time - couple
of stitches and a new window later, all was well). His favorite game
is
"throw-me-high-into-the-air-and-on-to-the-couch-so-I-can-come-back-and-do-it-again."
Absolutely thick in the head. Still, I suppose that his remarkable
resemblance to a stuffed animal (in looks and in action) makes him
popular. He is kinda cuddly, and his constant affection is somewhat
endearing. Aw heck, who couldn't love this cat? Schlap rules!
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