Cat of the Day

December 10, 1999

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Schlap, the Cat of the Day
Name: Schlap
Age: Four and a half years old
Gender: Male
Breed: Orange and White
Home: San Mateo, California, USA
 
   Birthplace: Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. Current Residence: San Mateo, California, USA

    In this picture you see Schlap (the one with the hat on) receiving his hourly rubdown from his attendant, Pete.

    Schlap has a following around the world. From Canada to California to Connecticut to Cameroon, everybody loves Schlap.

    Why?

    Nobody knows. He smells kinda funny, isn't very useful around the house, he's kinda chubby, he sheds all over the place, and he is a flea magnet. Despite the fact that he is the largest cat that most people have ever seen (at 22 pounds, with paws the size of a rottwieler's), as a guard cat, he is useless. He actually prefers strangers to his keepers, fawning over newcomers with the intensity of an addict getting a fix. He would lead a thief straight to the most valuable of his keepers meager possessions, thinking "maybe this guy will give me a treat."

    He's very demanding. When you try to watch TV or read a book, he immediately hops up on the table or your chest and head-butts you into submission, petting him until he gets hungry for some more food. His girth prohibits him from being an effective mouser, although he does manage to sit on his catnip mouse, attempting to suffocate it, for hours on end. Although he is huge, his meow is akin to a three-week-old burmese kitten, approximately two octaves above what one would expect. A ploy for food, I suspect.

    He is dumb. Not just a couple cards short of a full deck here, but I mean downright lamp-post dumb. He'd walk up to a snarling grizzly bear and try to get some lovin'. Once, when disrupted from a nap, he jumped through a window (the window was closed at the time - couple of stitches and a new window later, all was well). His favorite game is "throw-me-high-into-the-air-and-on-to-the-couch-so-I-can-come-back-and-do-it-again." Absolutely thick in the head. Still, I suppose that his remarkable resemblance to a stuffed animal (in looks and in action) makes him popular. He is kinda cuddly, and his constant affection is somewhat endearing. Aw heck, who couldn't love this cat? Schlap rules!
 

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