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| Name: |
Autocat
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Age: |
One and a half years old
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| Gender: |
Male
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Kind: |
Greek Cat
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| Home: |
Athens, Greece
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Hey
there guys! My name is Autocat and I am one of the fastest growing objects in the universe!
By living around computers and hackers from the day I was born, I developed
abilities to connect on the internet while others think I'm sleeping. Using
this technique I gathered vast knowledge by reading Wikipedia and I believe
that I have mastered Einstein's theory of General Relativity. After months of
performing complex tensor analysis and running simulations on my humans
computer I understood that I could achieve eternal life by creating a black
hole around me and stopping the passage of time.
So I started to consume gargantuan amounts of food and for now all is going
well! While I'm not measuring my gravitational field by cleaning my
ever-growing body, I like to sit on the human (if I can right on his head) to
see when he will stop being able to withstand my weight.
"My other hobby is to chew on the vegetables that the human is trying to grow
in his garden. It's hilarious! Every time he finds out I just sit there and
pretend to look at him with a stupid look (Just Pretending! I am not stupid,
of course ...) until he feels hopeless. But every time I reward him afterward
by letting him pet me on my airfield-sized belly.
Anyway guys! I'd love to meow a bit more about me, but I have to go grab a
bite :) I am still growing, have successfully sabotaged part of the
vegetables and soon I will be meowing "Resistance is futile - Food will be assimilated!"
Be chill and Don't Panic!
the Autocat
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