||Five years old|
||La Mesa, California, USA|
My real name is François. I go by Frankie but for some reason, I've been called "Frankenstein" and "Frankenmonster." I've even been called Satan, but I really don't know why. Here is my story.
In September 2009, tourists found me with my sibling under a trash bin in the Lower Garden District of New Orleans. I was a newborn with no mother in sight. They took me to a local vet where I was bottle-fed and then hand-raised by my foster mother. Sadly, my littermate didn't survive. My foster mother couldn't keep me…I was alone in the world without a place to call home.
One day, a nice lady stopped into the clinic to buy special food for her 17-year-old cat. The vet tech knew that the lady loved orange kitties so she brought me out to say hello. It was love at first sight! I joined the family in November 2009 and immediately made my presence known:
• I attack my siblings and humans without warning. I am a founding member of the WFWF (World Federation of Wrestling Felines) and reigning world champion.
• I walk through the unlit fireplace, leaving gray ashy paw prints on the wood floor.
• I eat receipts. (Whaddaya mean, you need those silly pieces of paper for tax purposes?)
• I find that leather chairs keep my claws sharp (thanks for buying those scratching posts but leather is so much better on my nails).
• I used an indoor planter as a litter box and killed off a plant (you never watered it anyways).
• I suckle and knead on couch pillows (I didn't get to nurse and wean from my mother so I'm pretending).
• I gnaw on food packages left out on the counter, leaving teeth marks and cat spit behind.
• When I illegally ran into the attic, I chewed on the insulation (hey, it looked like cotton candy!)
• I wake up daily at 4:30 a.m. and make my presence known by patting my owner's face and then combing her hair. Hello ... I'm hungry!
• I climb the wicker screen to get a better view. Don't you know cats like high places?
• I will sit on a lap and act sweet, and then attack the hand that pets me. I call them "love nips."
• I inhale my food since I am always hungry and sometimes I barf it right back up. I try not to barf on important things, though.
• I lurk on the staircase and launch myself onto unsuspecting subjects who are sitting on the couch. Don't you love surprises?
• I chew on the protective plastic covering library books.
• I love to eat stamps! The sticky part is my favorite.
• When I've got the crazies, I run across the room using humans as a springboard to get more vertical action.
Life is grand! I'm now living in San Diego with my sister Sammie and big brother Rusty the Labrador Retriever. I have overheard my mom telling people that I will grow up to be a "normal cat." Should I be offended? I've just got a lot of catitude!
From Frankie's mom: I knew I was in trouble when the vet said, "We have a kitten you should meet" and I named him during my drive home! Frankie is a five year-old orange tabby complete with the "m" on his forehead and a bull's eye pattern on his side. The vet says he has "rabbit fur" since he's so soft. While occasionally a menace to society, Frankie is a snuggler, purrs like mad and is adored by his family.