|
 |
|
| Name: |
Alphonzo
|
Age: |
Five years old
|
| Gender: |
Male
|
Kind: |
Somali
|
| Home: |
Oakland, California, USA
|
Alphonzo is a very precious companion and is extra fluffy. He is a fawn Somali with a beautiful coat of long hair that requires constant grooming. When he finishes grooming himself, it is time to start again, so he does not have enough waking hours in the day to manage his fluff— he's actually too fluffy for his own good.
He loves sleeping in the sun on a blanket near the window or napping under the sheets. When he wants to play he runs around the room, jumping on surfaces, and knocking over things. Curiosity abounds when he sifts through the trash can. He is territorial, constantly picking fights with the other cats he has lived with. When he fights, his little fluffy ears go forward, he arches his back, and it's so cute to watch. Sometimes when playing he leaps sideways, also adorable.
He steals chicken from his owner's mother, randomly bites his owner's nephew, and sits atop a rotating chair to swat any guests that walk by, using the momentum of the chair to inflict maximal damage.
His life started in a box with other kittens. He was left to the rescue shelter of a friend of a friend, where he was originally named Timon. He first met me, his master, after five weeks of precious kitten hood, right after he was weened he was sent up to Oakland and dropped off at my house. I had always wanted a cat, and was amazed at how lucky I was to have him as a loyal subject. The cuteness was overshadowed, however, for the first two or three months, where he proceeded to urinate and defecate everywhere in the house except for his litter box. He had an affinity for bags of onions, where he would perch, mew loudly, then suddenly let loose his stool. After ruining two bags of onions, we had to put them in the cupboards. In addition to sacrificing onions, we had to sacrifice the “chill space”, which was a giant pillow on the ground in the bay window that was covered in pillows, and eventually his urine.
He had a brief stint as a Youtuber when he was a kitten, the subject of a few videos (such as Cat in the Box. We gave him a box to play in with a flap that was cut in the shape of a cat head. We thought this would be instant viral fame, but his accomplishments were overshadowed by his rival Grumpy Cat who in 2012 received international acclaim just by having that weird face all the time. As the years went on, he missed his chance for kittenhood stardom and decided to pursue other endeavors.
When I'm practicing music, he adds his own special touch to the compositions, sometimes just a single note, and other times expressive outbursts that span multiple octaves. In addition to his love for music, before I expelled him from my musical academy, he had a short career in painting when he decided to cover the floors of the house with a trail of paw prints. He has since been banned from painting unless he uses non-toxic paints, which I never buy since all the good ones are toxic.
He's a well-traveled cat, joining me on a road trip across the country. He didn't eat during the road trip, but seemed to enjoy rooms with beds that could easily be crawled under. He spent last fall in Florida, where he lived with an asthmatic Maine coon named Mondo, and briefly a siamese cat, Chance, who unfortunately passed away (rest in peace!). Alphonzo didn't really get along with Chance, though, and seemed indifferent when he went away. While in Florida he learned how to kill lizards, a delicacy unique to the region. He did splendid on his cross-country flight back, and was quite a conversation piece, though he wasn't very conversational himself.
He likes to dance. Sometimes I hold his by the paws and we dance for a few seconds, then he busts out his signature move. His signature move is very expressive and violent, he swats one of his paws from right to left with his claws out, mimicking an attack cat.
Mr. Fluffy Paws (one of his many nicknames) also enjoys scratchies around his head, stretchies in the morning, and extra snuggles around midnight. When I sit at the computer he likes to click the mouse and pause whatever show I'm watching. He also enjoys turning on the screen at night by walking over the keyboard. I think it's so that he can find his way.
An avid flea collector, he resists any medicine I put on him, then after I put it on him he looks at me like I'm cruel. Not so! There are so many places in his fluff for the fleas to live. We call him Alfleazo sometimes. I have yet to find an effective flea medicine, so instead I try to comb the fleas off of him every night, a process he used to hate but now enjoys. The occasional bath also helps with the flea problem, a process that he does not enjoy. Also, in the summer, he catches house flies with his paws and then eats them. I think this is disgusting, so I call him the Filthy Fly Catcher. He's not very good at it, but it can provide hours of entertainment, for me and him alike.
Another health issue he has is bad breath/poor dental hygiene, which the breed is known for. He lost half of one of his fangs, and when I try to put tooth gel on his teeth he gets so freaked out I have to burrito him. Hairballs are quite normal too, but this paw gel I have that is chicken flavored makes him wince and run away.
We love Alphonzo! He is the fluffiest cat in the entire galaxy! He might be five years old, but to me he will always be a kitten!
|
|
|
|
|
